“Idiot wind, blowing like a circle ’round my skull,
From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Capitol,
Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth,
You’re an idiot, babe.
It’s a wonder you still know how to breathe.”

Bob Dylan

It has been said that ignorance is the only true renewable resource. I am beginning to believe that it’s true. We now have a group of Ultra-Right Wing cretins called the “Birthers” who have filed suit to oust President Obama from the White House on the basis that he’s not an American by birth.
Now, government officials have viewed Obama’s birth certificate and declared it correct and valid, but this isn’t good enough for these lintheads who want it released publicly. Trouble is, it’s against state law in Hawaii to publicly release the original birth certificate. Aha! Conspiracy!!!!!
Orly Taitz, a California dentist and lawyer (who was, incidentally, born outside of the US herself) is representing soldiers challenging Obama’s right to be President. These soldiers include a wingnut in the form of retired major-general Carroll Childers who has compared Obama to “Hitler, Stalin, Saddam, Mao and Kim Jong Il.” In this raving loon’s eyes, “He is a n interloper, a usurper, a fake, a scam artist, a Chicago crook, a recipient of bribes and gratuitous income for which he paid no tax, a socialist, (perhaps only a communist or Marxist) and a grave danger to the future of the America that I love…”
And what proofs does this nitwit offer in support of this litany of charges?

Why, non of course. None are needed - he’s a patriot! I know because he says so.

Some people have claimed that because Obama’s Kenyan father was a British citizen that this disqualifys him from the Presidency. No, it does not. The law states that anyone born outside the country who has one American parent who resided in that country, (ie: Kenya) for a proscribed period of time is an American citizen. The law does not state that one must be born inside the US, only that you be a qualified US citizen by parentage. After all, McCain was born in Panama.

This law suit, incidentally, was thrown out of court and the judge has given the petitioning lawyer a certain number of days in which to present evidence why he shouldn’t be liable for all court costs in wasting the court’s time with a frivolous suit.

Meanwhile, vying for the title of Most Irrelevant, Chuck Norris has begun threatening to run for the office of President of Texas, which title does not exist, in order to help overthrow the US government. His speech on the subject ended with the phrase “Remember the Alamo.”

Ah, yes - the battle where a group of Texans who were trying to steal a portion of someone else’s country got their ass collectively handed to them by the forces of Santa Anna.

Similarly, we have the deranged leader of the right-wing web forum, Free Republic, Jim Robinson, whose spit-flecked rants recently drew the attention of the US Secret Service.
“Unfortunately, we are saddled with a communist sympathizer in the White House. I don’t know whether or not he’s an actual card-carrying commie, but he’s definitely an America-hating, anti-capitalist Marxist leftist, who thinks communism is the way to go.”
Well, I don’t know, Jim - the US tried fascism or at least plutocracy for eight years and it doesn’t seem to have gotten us anywhere…

Then, there’s the Voice of Reason itself, radio show host Glenn Beck excoriating President Obama for lifting the ban on stem cell research since he apparently believes that this is a grand plan by Obama to create “A Master Race! A perfect person! The stuff that we are facing is absolutely frightening!”

Yessiree, bubba. No wasting time screwing around for a cure for Parkinson’s, HIV, cancers or spinal cord research - them there scientists are gonna go right out and clone Hitler!

And, of course, we have that personification of journalistic credibility, Faux Noise’s Sean Innanity, who, last month, was doing a poll on his web site as to what kind of revolution his readers preferred to see: military coup, armed rebellion or war for succession, concluding “I am still very interested in your own preferred form of revolt.”

Isn’t it interesting that those who are calling for violence, war and revolt have never worn a uniform a day in their pathetic lives?

The nut-bar right wing is in full voice, braying like an indignant ass in its stable or yowling mindlessly like a junkyard dog on a short leash that thinks every ant fart signals imminent Armageddon. I don’t know whether they just can’t stand the fact that they lost, that Obama is a black man, or that they’ve gotten so used to the fact that they’ve had their way for so long that they can’t wrap their tiny minds around the fact that we don’t work on Massa CHeny’s plantation no ‘mo. But they are getting louder and shriller by the day. They are fomenting unreasoned hatred, pronouncing outlandish, indeed, childish accusations that have no more credibility than the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, and are promoting violence. They would rather the entire nation fell into a depression or a civil war than to give up their delusions and their pretentions to power. They are ceasing to be amusing.

So - tell me. When, exactly, are we allowed to call this treason?

IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE RIGHT WING AND BLACK?
It has not escaped the notice of most Americans of Color that there appears to be a reason other than the paint job why the President’s abode is called the “White House.”
There are definitely examples of Right Wing and Ultra-Right Wing blacks; Rush Limbaugh-wannabe radio host and columnist Armstrong Williams (once a legislative aide to Senator Strom Thurmond) comes to mind. But they are generally anomalistic entities very much in the same vein as the concept of a Jewish SS Officer.
One might hold as an example Condoleeza Rice; a woman who gave up the possibility of a lucrative career as a model for dental orthodontics to eventually become Secretary of State. An ex-member of the board of directors for Chevron, one of her main qualifications for this position, much touted, is that she speaks fluent Russian. Why this was given such import considering the languages of the nations that represented the greatest challenges to the Administration at the time of her appointment were Arabic, Korean, Chinese or Hebrew is not known. (See in Lexicon: “Logic.”)
One could also point to former Secretary of State, Colin Powell, whose sense of duty to the President allowed him to make a speech to the UN about Iraq’s alleged attempt to purchase yellow-cake uranium from Niger (even though it was widely known in the intelligence community that the documentation regarding this were obvious forgeries) but whose sense of personal dignity would not allow him to give a stirring rendition of “Old Man River” as part of his closing remarks.
Although both these individuals might be seen to have espoused Right Wing views, it is necessary to understand that parroting the Administrative Party Line is a requirement of their employment. If one is hired as an actor to play a specific role it is axiomatic that one be expected to abide by the script. It is only necessary to view the statements produced by such players as Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush when they began to improvise extemporaneously to understand the mixed messages (i.e.: confusion and amusement) that can result from diverging from the story line. Therefore, while both Ms. Rice and Mr. Powell can be viewed as Conservative Republicans, it is not clear whether they themselves are concordant with such opinions. The possibility must be considered that they are or were both acting in the spirit of pragmatic enlightened self-interest, more commonly known as “In order to get along, go along.”
As for Black Republicanism in general, it has been observed of the assembly of the Republican Black Caucus during the 2004 inauguration that the last time, historically speaking, that number of black people were on stage with Republicans, they were being auctioned off.

FOOLS RUSH IN

“What’s the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenberg? One’s a flaming Nazi gasbag and the other’s a dirigible…

Rush Limbaugh is getting a lot of publicity these days with his claims of being the de facto leader of the G.O.P. which is somewhat akin to claiming captainship of the Titanic. And, of course, there are a lot of figures being bandied about as to the size of Limbaugh’s radio listenership which he and other Right Wing media pundits claim as 20 million.

OK - let’s back off and stare at that figure for a monent. Upon what authority, what research is this figure based? As it turns out, on nothing. At best, it’s a guess, at worst it’s utter B.S.

It’s very difficult to estimate radio listenership. Unlike TV where there are mechanisms for tracking shows hour by hour or even minute by minute and can have a reliable figure in 24 yours, radio listenership polls take literally months. Now, when Rimshot and his cheerleaders make the claim of 20 million, that’s based on the number of AM stations that carry him - roughly 616 - and their broadcast range. In other words, what they’re talking about is the area in which their broadcast signal can be picked up. This figure is known as the “cume,” short for “cumulative.” This has absolutely nothing to do with who’s actually listening. It means, quite literally, that at any given time, a person within that broadcast range could possibly tune in the appropriate station and receive a Rush Rant, even if he only listens for 30 seconds. It’s a definition of listenership that’s much like Fox News claiming “X” number of millions of subscribers when what they really mean is that Faux Noise comes pre-bundled in a basic cable package that you take along with CNN, the Sci-Fi channel, the Golf Network and Wanking for Dollars. But Fox claims that this means you’re a “subscriber.”

It’s not simply the fact that radio readership is based on broadcast signal range. Recently MSNBC admitted that there’s an attempt, sort of like using the most basics of statistical probability, to get a more realistic figure of listenership by reducing the “cume” by a factor of 10. This gives Limbaugh a listening audience of roughly 2 million, which I’d probably not dispute. I’m sure that with a population of over 300 million there’ve got to be at least 2 million knuckle-dragging, drooling slack-jaws - otherwise there’d be no Republican party.

The interesting thing is that Limbaugh claims his figures have spiked. But in 1993, he was claiming to have a listenership of 20 million. Now, 16 years later, it’s still 20 million, according to him. That’s not a spike - that’s remaining static - no change whatsoever.

So who, exactly, is listening to this flap-jawed bloviating triple-chin? Well, according to a recent Democracy Corps national poll, not too many. The poll revealed that 53% of Americans polled had a negative view of Limpball, with 45% having a “very, very negative” view and 49% saying he has too much influence on the GOP. 62% of those polled say that the GOP is embracing “the same old ideas and leaders it has relied on for the past 20 years rather than seeking out new leaders and fresh ideas.” Hell, even Pat Robertson, who’s to the right of Atilla the Hun, has excoriated Rimshot for being divisive.

The fact is that Arbitron, which oversees US radio audiences, has never even bothered to try and measure Limbaugh’s ratings, saying “There is no economic motivation for any objective third party to do that kind of analysis.”

Rimshot has been preaching hatred and ignorance to the same audience of bigots, cowards and Neanderthals for his entire pathetic “career.” Let he and his supporters claim any figure they want - 50 million, 75 million. It makes no difference - they are irrelevant.

NRA (National Rifle Association) (Pn): An organization of patriots dedicated to guaranteeing the right of every American to own any form of firearm that hurls any form of projectile regardless of caliber or rate of fire.
This group takes their thesis from the Second Amendment to the Constitution which states: “A well-regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State, THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO KEEP AND BEAR ARMS, SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED.” (Author’s note: the only relevant portion of this Amendment, as far as the NRA is concerned, has been rendered in bold letters. The first portion would indicate that firearms ownership would be predicated on belonging to “a well-regulated Militia,” which is currently known as the National Guard, not the Michigan Militia or the Montana Freemen. Nor is there mention of the historical context in which the Constitution was written, at which time an assault rifle was a muzzle-loading single-shot weapon using flint-lock ignition. The NRA is cognizant of history and the Constitution being a constantly-evolving phenomenon and that the Founding Fathers were unable to visualize a day when the average hunter would require an M-16/203 fully automatic assault rifle with under-slung 40mm grenade launcher to stalk the wily and dangerous ground hog.)
The NRA is a tireless lobbyist for the basic rights of the citizen and, if the statistics on child-deaths due to firearms are accurate, a major proponent of the controversial but undeniable effective concept of retroactive abortion.

I noticed an article recently in the newspaper regarding Fox News’ Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld apologizing to Canada for disgusting remarks he made about Canada’s military involvement in Afganistan.  Lt-Gen. Andrew Leslie Commander of Canadian Land Forces had commented that when the Canadian mission in Afganistan draws down in 2011, that the army will need a year to re-equip and have some down-time before taking on another large mission. This, Gutfeld and panelist Doug Benson apparently found risible.

Gutfeld commented that the Canadians “want to take a breather to do some yoga, paint landscapes, run on the beach in goregeous white Capri pants…”

“Isn’t this the perfect time to invade this ridiculous country? They have no army.” he quipped.

Panelist Benson chimed in that he didn’t even know Canada was in the war. “I though Canada is where you go when you don’t want to fight.”

Gosh, I stand humbled in the face of wits worthy of the Angonquin Round Table…

First, you knuckle-dragging blowhards, Canada has been in every war since WW I (four years longer than the US, in point of fact.) Canada was in WW II since 1939 as opposed to the American involvement since late 1941, it was in all three years of Korea and over 45,000 Canadians served as volunteers in Viet Nam. Canada was also in the first Gulf war and since its inception, has been doing the heavy lifting in UN peace-keeping missions, some deployments like Cyprus lasting almost 30 years. Canada was also a combatant in Bosnia and still maintains a force in Kosovo.

These scitillating comments come the day after four more Canadian troops were killed and eight more wounded by an IED. In point of fact, the first combat casualties Canada incurred in Afganistan were caused by a hot-shot Yank navy reserve pilot who killed four troopers with a bomb after not identifying his target properly and ignoring the direct order of the Airborne Commander.

Gutfeld’s apology included the statement that Red Eye is satirical and topics are addressed in “a light-hearted, humerous and ridiculous manner.:

Well, it’s Faux Noise - of course it’s ridiculous.

But making fun of the sacrifices of an ally go far over the line.

I’m not going to dignify this braying ass with any further comment except to mention a little historical fact in passing.

The last time the US invaded Canada, they lost…

SCORING
If you answered yes to any one or two of the previous questions, you are most likely just an average Conservative Republican. You probably attend church semi-regularly, have a mortgage, vacation at places within driving distance of the station wagon, and read the front page of the newspaper before turning to the sports section. You are not yet in danger of becoming Right Wing.

If you answered yes to three to five of the above, you are possibly a “Born Again” Christian or self-styled Evangelical. You get your daily information from USA Today and Fox News. You discount getting your wife a book for her birthday because she already has one. You are beginning to suspect WWF wrestling might not be real. You do not understand that the Colbert Report is satire. You own a military folding-stock semi-auto Ak-47 assault rifle with a 30-round magazine because when you go deer hunting, you are loathe to let your prey suffer. You drive a pickup truck but want a Hummer. You are Right Wing.

If you answered yes to five to eight of the above, you are probably a college-educated person who got in as a legacy. You might possibly write for Fox News. You have every book Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity ever wrote. You believe Robert “No-Fact” Novak deserves the Pulitzer Prize for “outing” CIA deep-cover agent Valerie Plame, and have sexual fantasies involving Peggy Noonan. You actually think Dennis Miller is funny. You would only serve in uniform if the uniforms were made by Armani, reveille was at 10 AM and you got to serve your hitch in Aspen or Vail. You are Right Wing tending to Ultra-Right Wing. You are in need of psychological counseling.

If you answered yes to all twelve of the previous questions, you are certifiably Ultra-Right Wing. You are also certifiable. You are probably a member of the Council for National Policy, Christian Nationalism, Christian Reconstructionism, Focus on the Family or a member of the Bush Administration. You consider Ann Coulter’s post 9/11 remark “We should invade their countries, kill all their leaders and convert them to Christianity” wishy-washy Liberalism. You have the ethics of a rabid hyena on crack. Regrettably, this condition is usually only fatal to others.

If you answered yes to all twelve questions and also agree with the following statement by the late President Richard Nixon, “If the President does something, it can’t be illegal,” you are not simply Ultra-Right Wing, you are either President George W. Bush or Vice President Dick Cheney. This condition can only be cured with a massive application of representational democracy. Unfortunately, like Tamiflu or Ciprofloxezene, production of this medication has never been sufficient to supply the bulk of the U.S. population. In some areas such as Florida or Ohio this nostrum is completely absent.

THE PARTY OF FAIL…

I was reading a New York Times/CBS News poll recently where the question was put “Do you think (the Republicans) opposed (the stimulus bill) mostly because they thought it would be bad for the economy, or mostly for political reasons?” The response was telling: Sixty three percent of the respondents cited “political reasons” with only twenty nine percent believing it bad for the economy. What it was telling was that the Rethugnicans currently have about the same credibility as seeing Britney Spears in the pantie department of Saks.

The blatant partisan obstructionism of the Republican party against - well…anything the President does, would be laughable were it not so vile. I would like to quote part of an article by Pierre Tristam, an editorialist for the Daytona Beach News-Journal because I doubt that I could express it better myself.

“There’s a kind of folly reminiscent of the Medieval Church’s concept of salvation where the individual welfare of men and women was less important than glorifying the road to salvation. The road became an end unto itself. The poor got poorer. The Church got richer.

Market ideologues are our Medieval Church. Public spending is a mortal sin. Lower taxes and unregulatted markets are the road to salvation. But they’ve become ends in themselves, not means adjustable when necessary to improve the most lives. Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal turned down almost $100 million in federal help for Louisiana’s unemplyed because he didn’t want to raise business taxes a fraction to be eligible for the money. The dogma of lower taxes and the sanctity of business is more important to him than taking care of unemployed workers and families that keep businesses going and society functional. So the road to recovery is not spending money on those who need it most. It’s on not spending it in order to preserve the wealth of those who need it least, because, they, not the government, know best how to “invest” in the American Dream. Never mind about the last eight year’s nightmarish proof to the contrary.”

“The Reagan tax cuts and the Bush tax cuts of the current decade did their share of colossal wealth-spreading. But they did it upward.”

“The real stimulus for the debate over Obama’s recovery package is fear - not that the policies won’t work; the optimism favouring Obama in every poll argues against that. But that a wealth class that took almost 30 years of power and glory for granted is suddenly demoted. Obama’s policies will serve us, and the country’s future, better.”

It reminded me of CNBC’s frothing maniac, Rick Santelli who, while broadcasting from the Chicago stock exchange, indicated the trading floor chock-a-block with six-figure a year traders and proclaimed “This is America!” (moments before he derided the stimulus package for bailing out “losers.”) And, of course, there was Limbaugh at the CPAC conference; a man who has a $400 million ten-year contract to foment hate and spew lies and calls it being an “entertainer.”

Bush’s $1.3 trillion tax cut went mostly to the upper 2 percent. President Obama’s stimulus package will benefit the 95 percent below them and they can’t stand it. These unspeakable newts have had a plutocracy for a long time and they don’t want it to end because they don’t have it all yet. Democracy has come back to America. Where will these pelf-puffed pustules be without their peons to pee on?

But the obstructionism from the Right is not so much about money is it is about the fact that if the stimulous package works, they will nave received their final repudiation. They will be proven WRONG, and not just for the last eight years. Everything they stand for - not the window-dressing of false patriotism - will have come to dross and they will be exposed as the pathetic failures we all know them to be.

“Let boys want for pleasure,
And men struggle for power, and women perhaps for fame.
And the servile to serve a leader and the dupes
to be duped.
Yours is not theirs.”

Robinson Jeffers, “Be Angry at the Sun”

Credibility (n): In the Real World, to dependable and trustworthy owing to the fact that one is in full possession of all the available facts and does not indulge in dissimulation. In the Right Wing world, the facility to face the public, press and cameras and lie your ass off secure in the knowledge that anyone questioning your veracity will be labeled as unpatriotic.
An example of comparative credibility: A few years back, Dan Rather, a respected CBS news anchor, was given documents which he believed to be true but in fact, were not. He then failed to properly and fully investigate the facts and instead, reported the documents to the American people as fact. When the spurious nature of the documents was made known, Mr. Rather apologized and began an investigation. His actions resulted in his dismissal from CBS. The number of American dead his actions caused was zero.
George W. Bush was given “documented evidence” after 9/11 regarding Saddam Hussein’s connections to bin Laden and the World Trade Centre attacks, never even attempted to validate this information and instead, presented it to the American people as fact to justify his invasion of Iraq. When this “evidence” was proven to be entirely false, he did not apologize, but instead chose to repeat the misinformation and lies again and again and to stonewall any attempt to investigate the “evidence.” Meanwhile, his own administration was attempting to destroy the careers and reputations of anyone who publicly contradicted him. Instead of resigning or being impeached, he immediately ran for a second term in office. The number of American dead his actions caused (by 2008) is 4100 plus and rising.
Now, which of these two men have credibility? If you have to ask, perhaps it’s not necessary for you to continue reading the Real World definitions in this lexicon.

Benchmark (n): The Bush administration buzz-phrase used in defining a plan for withdrawal from Iraq. There are said to be many “benchmarks” such as when the Iraqi army is ready to take over defense of the country, (thought to be doable in the next two decades or so) when sectarian violence between Sunni and Shia is brought under reasonable control, (sometime in the next five to seven hundred years) and when the Bush administration has finally bankrupted the U.S. thus making it physically impossible to pay for the war. This last benchmark is, if the actions of the Bush administration were anything to go by, imminently doable. With the adoption of the term “Benchmark” the Bush administration had finally realized a politically correct synonym for “cut and run” Republican-style.