Rep. Earl Blumenauer chairs the House about three or four times a month from which position he observes the proceedings in much the same way a behavioural scientist observes the interactions of a pack of baboons. Recently, what transpired was more in the venue of an anthropologist observing what is termed an “atavistic endeavour.” To wit:

“Today, I literally watched Republicans become unhinged as they attempted to out-do one another on the ‘evils’ of programs being considered by President Obama and the Democrats in Congress. As the Republicans took advantage of the unlimited opportunities for one-minute speeches, dozens of them headed to the floor with competing tales of horror that are allegedly in the Democratic approach to health care reform.”

I’m just going to touch on a few of the sqwaks and brayings that emanated from the floor of the House as enumerated by Rep. Blumenauer. It was “thought” that:

4 to 7 million people would lose their jobs as a result of the health care plan. (well, for a start, I’d like to see the 200,000 unspeakable bastards employed by insurance companies to turn down or recise policy claims on the bread line…)

That 144 million people would lose their health care insurance. (No, you cretin - that’s the number of Americans that could possibly end up leaving private insurance companies for the public option - a figure estimated by the Lewin Group. Naturally, this would result in the loss of tens of billions of dollars to the private insurance pirates, to which I say “Good on ‘em, and screw you bunch of ethicless crooks!”)

That the Democrats want to socialize 20% of the economy. (which Rep. Earl thinks is interesting considering that health care is ‘only’ 16% of the GDP, as if that figure were acceptable)

That extending health care coverage to over 40 million Americans will somehow put “government bureaucrats” in charge. (as opposed to the accountants, MBAs and bean counters who are currently in charge of the system and who wield virtual life-and-death power over the hapless peons paying them billions a year)

That the Democratic plan will leave people no choice but to go to the Emergency Room. (yessiree, Bob - normally, when I get a limb whacked off, my first impulse is to tie up the stump, phone my insurance company and sit in the bathtub while I wait for them to decide whether or not they’ll cover the reattachment procedure)

Rep. McClintock (R-CA) stated his opinion that the same government that operates FEMA couldn’t possibly be trusted with running public health care. (Need we even comment on this particular piece of idiocy? Rep. Blumenauer was boggled. “I’m shocked that any Republican would bring up FEMA and the disasater of the Bush administration for an agency that, until the Republicans got ahold of it, was doing a great job in the Clinton years.”)

Rep. Broun (R-GA) loudly demanded “Show us the bill!” and “Don’t hide the bill!” (while at the very same moment, his partners in crime were waving the bill around in the air. Rep. Buck McKeon (R-Douchebag) then chided his colleges to read the bill, after which he proceeded to reference Section 1233 and lie his ass off about it. Rep. Blumenauer knows something of this section since, in his words, “…it’s a bill I wrote which was incorporated into the overall legislation. His statement was a complete fabrication.”)

And finally, (since this claptrap has a numbing effect and I feel like I’m losing my higher brain functions just transcribing it,) Rep. Virginia Fox (R-NC) rose to espouse the view that the ReThug approach to health care (which I previously assumed to be “Pay or Die”) was more pro-life. because it “would not put seniors in a position of being put to death by their government.” (That’s right - insuring over 48 million Americans will result in geriatric euthanesia. This statement is so monumentally obscene that I can’t even think of a rejoinder.)

Meanwhile, back at the Ranch…

Rep. Mike Pence, (R-IN) Chairman of the House Republican Conference, appeared on Andrea Mitchell’s show on MSNBC and declared, in the space of a few seconds:

“A government-run insurance option that the President’s insisting on is going to amount to a government take-over of our health care economy.”

And then, when challenged by Mitchell on his stance on Medicare, “Oh. no, I support Medicare and have supported the program.”

So this blithering fool professes no confidence in the public option because it would be government-run, but whole-heartedly supports and praises Medicare, which is … government-run. I think we can safely say that these half-witted buffoons have long since ceased to listen to what’s enamating from their own mouths let alone listen to anyone else.

And finally, (before I have to run to the bathroom and vomit) there are the words of wisdom of Senator John Kyle, (R-AR) who piously declared on the Senate floor Monday, July 27, “The health care industry is one of the most regulated industries in America. They don’t need to be ‘kept honest’ by the government.” (He then went on to declare that the banking and investment industry can police itself and that all federal and state laws should be rescinded since the inherent decency in the American soul would never sanction such immoral acts like murder, rape, assault, child abuse, etc… He then proposed to change the nation’s symbol from the eagle to the unicorn and that the national debt be paid off by finding pots of gold at the end of rainbows.)

On the dissenting side of the issue we see a Los Angelese Times article reporting on last months’ Congressional hearings.

“The documents show that one Blue Cross employee earned a perfect score of ‘5′ for ‘exeptional performance’ on an evaluation that noted the employees role in dropping thousands of policyholders and avoiding nearly $10 million of health care. WellPoint’s Blue Cross subsidiary and two other insurers saved more than $300 million in medical claims by cancelling more than 20,000 sick policyholders over a five-year period, the House committee said…

The committee investigation uncovered several recission practices that one lawmaker called egregious, including targeting every policyholder diagnosed with leukemia, breast cancer and 1400 other serious illnesses. Such investigations involve scouring the policyholder’s original application and year’s worth of medical and pharmacy records in search of any discrepancies.”

Hell - these insurance companies and HMO’s don’t need to be “kept honest.”

They need to be hanged.

And a small correction. It was noted by one of my faithful readers, Mlaiuppa, that the House vote that confirms Hawaii as the birthplace of the President, and hence, an American-born citizen, was not unanimous inasmuch as 55 members didn’t vote. This is entirely true. The vote was held later in the day due to lack of a quorum. The vote did pass ‘unanimously’ insofar as it passed 378-0, with all members who were present voting in favour. Thank you for pointing this out.